Back Surgery + Pain Medication + Twitter = Crazypants Judy

Introduction

I have had problems with my back on and on for 10 years. Last Friday I reached the pinnacle of my back troubles and went under the knife.  I was in the hospital for a few day and then they let me out.  I walked out of that hospital with nothing but the clothes on my back, my iPad, and a bag full of prescription medications.  What happened next was a bunch of messy drug fueled nonsense filled Tweets. Here is the story of my back surgery with some of my Twitter exchanges thrown in so you can get a sense of what my state of mind was like while the events were happening.

Editors note: If @alexismarie wanted a detailed explanation about iPhones & t-mobile & iTouches & basically how to live her life from here on out why didn’t she say so in the first place? Why send me one misspelled sentence that looks like it came from a middle school kid “wat do u love about it?” and then get furious at me for not solving her life problems? Some Tweeps be crazy! I’m telling ya!

The Pain Goes On

Let’s call the times when my back acts up “episodes”.  About once every two years I would have an “episode” with my lower back, always on the right side. I would move a certain way and then put my back out. It would be sore for a couple weeks and then it get better. In recent years the episodes with my back have become more frequent, the pain has become more severe and the episodes last longer.

Editors Note: I do currently have pink tennis balls on my walker.  I seriously want to pimp it out.  Any suggestions or ideas are welcome.

My Foot Quits Working

It was about a month ago when I went to try and remove my four year old from under his bed that I hurt my back again and triggered the latest “episode”. This episode was worse than any of my previous episodes in multiple ways. I was in extreme pain (according to the hospital pain chart I was in crying face pain, a 9 or 10). A few days after the episode started the pain began to radiate down my right hip and leg. Soon my right foot was numb and was developing weakness. Next thing I knew I couldn’t move my right foot and was walking with a limp because I had to drag my right foot (I found out later this is called “foot drop”).

Editors note: is @aagon talking about Power Point when referring to “collective expressionism & “sharing thoughts”? Because if he is I want no part of that.  I will stick with the rainbow and the red drawf please.

Nerve Pain & My Spinal Cord

During the next few weeks I visited a series different doctors and was getting x-rays and MRIs in order to find out what was wrong with me. It turns out I have a degenerative disc disease which causes the discs between by vertebrae to wear down, leave bone sitting on top of bone in my spine. I finally went to see a doctor at the Spine Center last Tuesday who could take a look at all my films and give me a path to recovery. He was able to show me on my MRI that I had a disc that was bulging and pressing into my spinal cord. This is why I was is constant pain (and let me tell you, the pain was bad people, this was nerve pain).  This was also what was causing the numbness and weakness in my leg and foot. I would need to have surgery as soon as possible. Without surgery I would never walk normally again and the numbness and weakness would only spread. Surgery was scheduled for Friday and I was going to have a discectomy and a lamectomy.

Editors note: @threevolts likes to use a hashtag (#) to call attention to thing others write on Twitter that meant to be unoffensive everyday comments that he thinks can be viewed as “dirty” or “sexy” or “crude”.  Sometimes he is spot on with the Tweets he picks.  Sometimes he is way off and the joke is lost.  For example: “#isthataeuphemism? RT @GRLitman: Due to the travel conditions caused by volcanic ash, the President’s trip to Poland has been cancelled.” No.  That is not a euphamism.  And even though I think you are extremely funny @threevolts, I don’t think that all of the euphamism tweets are funny.

Going Under the Knife

I went in to have my surgery on Friday morning. The surgery ended up being more extensive than was first planned because once the surgeon opened up me up they were able to see  I had fragments of bone pressing into my spinal cord along with the bulging disc. They also had to remove more bone from my vertebrae than they originally thought. I found out when they woke me up in recovery that not only was I not going home that night, but also I would be in the hospital for a least a few days with a long recovery a head of me.

Editors Note: See @threevolts is one of the coolest people on Twitter because he does his own Twitter stuff and doesn’t really care what people say to or about him.  Don’t get me wrong, he likes to have the odd Twitter fight now and again, but he doesn’t take the fights seriously.  That is why @threevolts is one of my super-awesome Twitter friends.  We can talk smack on Twitter and neither one is angry.  The people reading the tweets on the other hand …

The Road to Recovery

It is hard for me to move around these days.  My nerve pain is gone, but it has been replaced by the incision pain from my surgery.  My right foot is still numb and weak.  They tell me this will take some time to get better.  I am now the owner of my very own walker. You would think this would be depressing but I am choosing to see it as an opportunity for performance art. Look for a future blog post on how I plan to “Pimp My Walker”. I will be at home for at least the next few weeks to one month. I am not going to be able to drive for about a month.

Editors Note: I never knew who this @jalbus guy was before he started Twittering me over my “Twitter fight” with Threevolts.  I think he believed I was some blonde sex crazed idiot who didn’t understand Twitter and needed his help in order to “stop making an ass of my self”.  He told me about his dick for no apparent reason and the offered to give me lessons on what not to do on Twitter.  Um @jalbus … yeah … I don’t think I will be needing those lessons.

The Meds

I am on a lot of pain medication because back surgery is really painful. I can’t tell if this is positively of negatively affecting my Twittering right now. I do know that I have been confused around the house sometimes thinking that people have come to see me who haven’t.  My best explanation is that I am having dreams while I am awake.  In the morning I always have to ask my husband who was here the day before because I am not sure who really was here and who I dreamt was here.  One morning I actually asked him if we had a Santa in our house the night before because I could have sworn I saw one.  I hope you enjoyed my spine story along with some of my favorite crazypants Judy Tweets from the past few days.

editors note: despite what @jalbus says in his Tweet I only brought up getting laid twice on Twitter yesterday.  All other references to getting laid were by men, mainly @jalbus.  I think this is because men are uncomfortable when a woman uses this type of language and then men feel the need to overcompensate.  They also think the woman said “sex” many times instead of a few times because of the impact of a woman saying it.  You can disagree with me, but the male only backlash I experienced on Twitter yesterday after telling a man to get laid was powerful.

Also, who would you take Twitter advice from, me or @jalbus?  Here are the stats from @jalbus:

Here are the stats from @judypdi:

I think that @jalbus may need to take some Twitter lessons from me.  If you are reading this @jalbus, you can send me a message via my contact page on the website.  I will be happy to give you a lesson on how to get more followers, what not to say on Twitter, and how not to come across as a misogynist when talking to women.

Tags: Back surgery, crazypants, discectomy, lamectomy, pain medication, Twitter, walker

This entry was posted on April 21, 2010 at 9:31 am and is filed under Health & Fitness, Twin Cities. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.